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As every non-Amish citizen of this land is probably aware, America elected Barack Hussein Obama to be its 44th Commander in Chief. Once the euphoria of Tuesday night fades to its proper place, there are still disheartening realities and never yielding facts about the world that must be dealt with.

Among them is the rather depressing fact that this development is even ground breaking and barrier decimating. After all, in a truly progressive society should not the election of a black man be viewed simply as the election of an American? The question the nation should be asking itself is why there must even be barriers?

While it is perfectly appropriate to let a generation of heroic civil rights leaders and liberals revel in the grandeur of what they have accomplished, one should even for a second believe the responsibility of this nation to truly and definitively exorcise its racial demons has been fulfilled.

Though unseen and largely silent at the moment, there are still bigots out there cursing whatever god they pray to for letting this happen. To them Barack Obama is a black man, nothing more and nothing less, therefore, he cannot be president. It is against this odious portion of the populace the wars of the last 200 years have been waged.

Now, with an electoral defeat, resounding and clear, dealt to the bigots, the armies of change must march against themselves. Well meaning and politically correct liberals are the new bigots. For those of you still reading, it is imperative that you too eliminate race from your life, recognizing the danger of complacency and contentment.

Think of Barack Obama not as the first black president but simply as the President of the United States, refusing to judge him on the minority scale but rather pitting him against every white man to have held the title. Mr. Obama deserves nothing less than this standard, derived from the simple plea of a southern preacher to judge a man not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character.

A chance like this, fleeting yet misleading, rarely comes along. Barack Obama is not an African American, he’s an American, as we all are and as we all should be. Enough with the race based admissions, enough with the race based dialogue and interactions, enough with race. The chains have been cut, now we must walk, cautiously yet decisively, through the cell door, open almost imperceptibly for less than an instant as the light floods in from afar.

Vman (Someone who’s getting his polemicist on)

I suppose that the full effects and consequences of my transition to this new phase of life have yet to hit me. I have heard thunder but I have yet to witness the lightning. Knowing that my life is fully expected to diverge from its current vector yet foreseeing only a straight path ahead has left me stranded at an odd precipice, neither teenager nor adult; neither high school senior nor college freshmen, simply just me. I have discovered only that one’s environment is merely ornamental, leading to everything being seemingly different yet actually the same.

The rituals of campus life, the drinking, the beach volley ball games, the socializing and the tanning, constantly surround me yet I brush past them exactly as I had in the years past, a curious observer but never a subject. Perhaps that is precisely why this prompt evoked such a mystified response from me. As I began to consider how the first week has been, I could not help but feel that it was exactly like the weeks past.

The routines and staples of student life are the same as they ever have been and will remain the same with no regard to how I feel about them. Eat, sleep, shower, study, go to class, participate, write, edit, submit, I am trapped in the confines of those words as I have been for the last 4 or so years and will be for 8 or so years in the future. My concerns are as trivial as they have ever been, chief among them being what brand of cup noodles reigns supreme.

The transition from high school to college, for me at least, has been a matter of inertia. I have taken one look around and with an odd mix of comfort and resignation, realized that I must simply do what I have always been doing. There will gradually be less and less parental authority to answer to but the lines drawn long ago are still straight, time marches on. I am no different; nothing has changed, it just looks like it has. In response to the last portion of your prompt, if I was a diner food I would be apple pie since I am all American.

-Vman (Someone who wants to be gone, now)

Perhaps the most logical explanation for the selection of first term Alaskan governor Sarah Palin as Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain’s running mate is yielded by his preferred game of chance, Craps. After all, nearly all political observers can agree that choosing Mrs. Palin, after Mr.McCain was informed he could not choose a pro choice candidate, is at the very least a gamble.

Making her way from television sportscasting to PTA council presidency and then eventually, the Alaskan governor’s mansion for approximately two years, Mrs. Palin, a self described “hockey mom”, has continually cast herself as a tough female “maverick”, an unlikely conservative fighter for “the people” against the corrupt “elites” entrenched in power, willing to buck even her party to do what is right. Mrs. Palin points to her ethics reforms and largely symbolic actions such as selling the Governor’s jet on Ebay, firing the chef at the Governor’s mansion and lowering her own salary when mayor of Wasilla, Alaska as evidence of the tough, principled fiscal conservatism that Mr. McCain prides himself on.

At the Republican National Convention, Mrs. Palin also brought up her decision to refuse an abortion and carry her fifth child, Trig to term, despite learning that he would be born with down syndrome as further evidence of her conservative credentials. Although this narrative has energized a previously wary conservative base that is critical in John McCain’s efforts to win against his opponent, Senator Barack Obama of Illinois in November it has also proven to be ample fodder for newspapers and liberal bloggers eager to vet and scrutinize Mrs. Palin.

For example, Mrs. Palin’s politically shrewd attempts to claim the feminist, trailblazing mantle of former candidate for the Democratic nomination for President, Hillary Clinton, speaking of the “18 million cracks in the glass ceiling” and railing against sexism in the media, are contradicted by her own previous statements labeling Mrs. Clinton’s charges of the very same sexism in the media “whine” at a Newsweek panel. When Mrs. Palin speaks of both her and John McCain’s extensive records fighting wasteful “pork barrel spending”, she ignores her initial support of the “The Bridge to Nowhere”, a 250 million dollar bridge servicing approximately fifty people that has been used by Mr. McCain himself as the foremost example of wasteful government spending. Mrs. Palin, in her first term as mayor of Wasilla, even began the practice of flying to Washington D.C. to lobby for spending, collecting earmarks to the tune of $27 million dollars for a town with a population of little over 9000 people. Despite running on a promise of reforming ethics and taking on the corrupt Republican party establishment of Alaska, Mrs. Palin herself is embroiled in an ethics investigation as to whether or not she improperly attempted to use her position as governor to get her state trooper ex brother in law, Mike Wooten, fired after a heated divorce with Mrs. Palin’s sister.

Her conservative values might prove to be somewhat extreme for the moderate voters the McCain campaign is eyeing since Mrs. Palin, a firm believer in the teaching of creationism in public schools, attempted to ban certain books she found obscene from the Wasilla town library, firing the librarian when she refused to comply with Mrs. Palin’s demands. In addition, Mrs. Palin, who received her passport only a year ago, has little to no foreign policy experience, undercutting Mr. McCain’s attacks on Mr.Obama’s readiness to be commander in chief. The McCain campaign counters that Mrs. Palin’s expertise lies in energy policy but Mrs. Palin has offered little but the refrain “drill, drill drill-all the way.” Mrs. Palin is firmly anti gay marriage and opposes affirmative action.

Mrs. Palin’s family has also morphed into a political controversy recently amid discoveries that her 17 year old daughter Bristol was pregnant and her husband Todd is a former member of an Alaskan secessionist movement whose motto is “Alaska first, Alaska always.” Mrs. Palin, herself, attended the Alaskan Independence Party’s 1994 convention and wished them good luck at their 2006 convention.  Others note that it appears that Mrs. Palin’s repeated insistence on abstinence only sex education has seemed to fail. Others, such as The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart, have pointed out the cognitive dissonance required in the Palins asking for privacy to make a choice about Bristol’s pregnancy and Mrs. Palin’s stance on abortion, which denies that choice to all families, even in cases of rape or incest. Conservatives are furiously attempting to tout Mrs. Palin’s maverick image and have co-opted Mr. Obama’s message of change.

Ultimately, it appears that Sarah Palin is above all, a rash and impetuous choice for Vice President  considering that she is less than a heartbeat away from becoming the nation’s first female President if the 72 year old cancer survivor at the top of the ticket happens to be elected. Mr. McCain’s chief adviser Steve Schmidt was caught with an open mic suggesting that choosing Mrs.Palin was simply a political gambit, many would agree.

-Vman (Someone who was scared by her RNC speech)

Hello foxchasefive readers! Yes, you three, in the very back! Please move up to the front so it looks like there is more of you! No? Well, okay.

Anyways, I have decided to try to move the foxchasefive design you know and love, to this new minimalist design that is a little easier on the eyes. Just an experimental update to the design, the tone of the blog shall stay the same.

We would love to hear your comments, yay or nay.

That is all.

-Andrew Olanoff “Editor-in-chief” “Head Honcho” “Photographer of Plants”

China, in itself, is a rapidly growing country. It’s economy has risen
dramatically, and the oil market has exploded. However, there is much
skepticism when it comes to looking at China. However, it is not to
say that China is or will become the next superpower. Most concerns
rise from the constant stabs China throws at becoming a superpower.
However, these concerns do not mean the eventual rise of China. China
will not become top dog. At the very least, China will never become a
superpower without a bloody revolution.

As someone who has grown in a Chinese family (Taiwan, close enough. We
own all the artifacts anyways), I have first had experience on the
respect we have for the elders. At every opportunity, I am dragged off
to stand upon the family shrine to pray. While a disbeliever myself, I
comply willingly out of respect. This is the magical word that may
cause China’s greatest fault. Built on Confucianism, the Chinese have
characteristically respected their elders.

And then comes the interesting point. China has a gigantic working
class. A number many believe is excessive. However, it is important to
note that China does have the one-child policy. It may have been
necessary, but the one-child policy is nothing more than a band-aid
fix. Correction, it is like having cast over a broken leg that hasn’t
been re-aligned. China’s population will shrink rapidly. However, as
the next generation is 50% of the current, sooner or later China will
have to deal with a great number of old people. As I stated before,
the Chinese have great respect for their ancestors. And well, you
don’t exactly abandon your elders in this culture. Life moves on.

This is what I meant by the, “Splint,” analogy. China will fix their
population problems, but will now have old people problems. How
exactly do you cope with a million retired salary-men? And with the
Chinese culture unwilling to abandon their parents, the problem will
be escalated. With China keeping their population artificially poor,
there will be no 401k.

There is also the problem that China’s government has no legitimacy.
There is no point for an American Businessmen to even attempt at
getting China to unpeg their Yuan. The Chinese government cannot do
it. If China does not keep their labor artificially low, then other
countries can seek other forms of labor. This is the exact same reason
why it is pointless for American politicians to influence the Chinese
into free-market society. Without everyone having jobs, China’s
population will throw a revolution. And historically speaking, every
single revolution in China has been quite bloody.

China has hit the ceiling of Communism. Not to say that China hasn’t
done a great job at employing communism, but there is only so high it
will go. And I believe the high is China’s current situation. But past
this mark, will be very little growth. So long as China keeps their
population poor, China will be nothing more than a mass production
factory for wealthier countries.

China under Democracy, is a very interesting circumstance, and has
great potential to rise. Revolution aside, the Chinese under a
democratic government has the chance of rising to the level of Japan.
However, china under democracy will fall apart into tiny little
provinces. With China being so diverse, it will sooner or later form
multiple countries. East China has the greatest potential, while Tibet
will be in ruins.

So the question is who will become the next superpower? The best bet
would be, surprisingly, India. India has only two issues to solve:
infrastructure and Pakistan. Infrastructure is an easy thing to solve,
and is something that is easily surmountable by lots of money.
Pakistan on the other hand, is the only true problem India faces. With
neither side armed with second-strike capabilities* both sides seem
ready to fling nukes at each other. Will there be any resolution? It
is possible that India and Pakistan will go to war. But it is also
possible that both sides will resolve their differences.

*Second-strike capabilities: When a country has the ability to launch
nukes either in the process of incoming nuclear weapons, or after the
detonation. Both America and Russia were equipped with this
capability, and hence the world might actually have ended in 45
minutes. When both sides are without second-strike capabilities, the
first to launch will be victorious.

By Roger Yang, who is foxchasefive’s self-appointed expert on East-Asia politics

I need a final list of people of who wants t-shirts. They are going to cost 13 bucks, updated designs can be found by clicking the official foxchasefive t-shirts tab above. If you want one for sure, you need to email at articles.foxchasefive@gmail.com and put “T-Shirts, your name” in the subject line. In a couple days ill send an email out to all the people who want t shirts, with the info on how to get me your money, preferably a check, and also any info on purchasing the shirts, size, delivery, and etc. Thank you for your future purchase, it will help fund the new foxchasefive that is debuting in the fall. With your help, we can host the site on it’s own server, provide weekly podcasts, and do some contests next year.

Thank you.

By Andrew Olanoff

This is the first episode in the daily video cast for foxchasefive. A new episode will come out each week, Mondays, explaining current news in a 50 newsreel style in under a couple minutes. (This one is about nazi’s, commies, and war bonds! Buy em!)

[click below for videogoodness]

We just surpassed 30,000 views! In celebration, our photoshop happy own Adam Drucker made a graphic for such a momentous occasion! Biggie, Tupac, this is for you (blows kisses to Jesus).

 (click thumbnail to make large and in charge)

-Andrew Olanoff

So the summer is here, kids are frolicking at various parties, Bush is on vacation on his ranch in Texas, and new foxchasefive t shirts are sprouting up all over. Confused by one of those statements? That’s right Bush vacations in Texas all year round, what am I saying! No? You understand that one? Oh! The tshirts! Let me explain.

For the next week I am going to track down every person on this old list of people who wanted foxchasefive t shirts back in the fall, and tell them something really cool, the tshirt designs have been updated! I also have money to buy all these tshirts, thank you Mr. Bush, some of that mis-allocated Katrina tax money I presume. But let me stay on topic, the shirt designs have been updated, a new logo made by foxchasefive official logo maker, Billy B-Dog Bausback, please do not mess with him, or get “all up in his grill”, I have the battle scars to show for it.

But anyways, they are just sweet, to see them click the foxchasefive t shirts tab at the top of the page, or this link. You can see the updated design and click the smaller images for more high resolutions of the front and back of the shirts. The shirts are also going to be 15 dollars you say? No! Only 13 bones! Not bad ehh?

So if you were on the original list I will contact you in the next couple days and see if you still want a t shirt, especially with the cool new updated design and cheaper price. (If you were not on the list but want a t shirt now, please contact me through articles.foxchasefive@gmail.com ) If you do, I’ll need all your cash up front before I order, would you trust over 30 teenagers to pay you for awesome t shirts? (That’s a rhetorical question) Once I get all the money in, I’ll make the order, and it should come in a few days later. After it is in, distribution time! The shirts will be hand delivered to you (awesome right?), because I loves me my foxchasefive readers!

That is all for now, get on collecting your 13 bucks. Tips: under couches, in Drucker’s shoes, in illegal slush funds, and so on. I hope in August before school starts to have a barbecue where we celebrate the upcoming 30,000th view of the site, and all things foxchasefive, and everyone will wear their shirts to the BBQ. There will be contests coming up to win future foxchasefive t shirts, different designs to come, and much more! There will be lots of activity on the site this summer, so check back daily for updates. Talk to you soon!

Andrew Olanoff

Editor-in-chief, creator, and spokesman for foxchasefive, also enjoys not sleeping and making t shirts

On this week’s episode, the first episode (yay!), we talk about:

• Michael Moore
• various news headlines (grab bag)
• movies

Hosts:
Andrew Olanoff
Matt Wilson
Vaman Muppala

Music:
Grandaddy – AM 180
Ratatat – Pipes Song
Amy Winehouse

Runtime: 56 minutes

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• iTunes Link –
• RSS Feed –