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Here we go with number three of Rosen’s Rants, because the first two were so popular!
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Republicans: The ultimate hypocrites
Sam Hocking do not talk to the child molesters on Capitol Hill!  Mark
Foley, champion for juvenile protection, is a pedophilic, homosexual.
Let’s add an amendment stating that marriage is between a man and a
woman.  While we are add it, let’s send sexually explicit emails and
instant messages to an underage boy.  Worse, the news was no surprise
to the members of congress.  Republicans will lie, cheat, steal, break
into opposing headquarters, and do pretty much anything to assure
their majority in the House and Senate.  I expect Sean Hannity, Ann
Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh to rush to his defense and resort to lying
and mudslinging.  Republicans are against contraceptive education.
People are going to have sex.  Abstinence only will never work.  It
seems that Republicans want unwed teenage mothers.  Abortion should be
legal, and they should teach “don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.”
Republicans also hate a man by the name Bob Woodward.  First, he
exposes Dick Nixon for his shady criminal acts.  Then, he writes a
book blasting the Bush Regime for its failures.  They also hate Bill
Clinton for not doing enough about Osama as well as other horrible
things (like wanting to protect the environment).  Using this logic,
shouldn’t they hate Bush for not doing enough about Osama?  Clinton at
least kept the Twin Towers upright when they were attacked.  He sent
Tomahawk cruise missiles at his camps.  Bush seems to react a month
late and trillions of dollars short.  Also, the nation is now in its
biggest debt ever.  Simple arithmetic will show that you cannot
finance a war by cutting taxes (for the rich).  Bush is an idiot.  He
ran oil companies, the Texas Rangers, and the United States into the
ground.

Democrats: Wusses
At the same time, democrats seem to come up with every way to not win.
They do not press their advantage.  They let Republicans define them
instead of defining themselves.  Kerry, a Vietnam war hero, was
painted as weak on defense by Bush, a draft dodger, coke addict,
alcoholic, national guard absentee, etc.  Democrats, wake up!
Republicans have hijacked God and National Defense.  Democrats,
because of their liberal views, have been attacked by Republicans as
atheists.  They are pro-choice, pro-stem cells, pro-gay rights.  All
of these are horrible sins.  Why would you want women to make
decisions?  Why would you want to save lives and cure diseases?  Why
would you want to let two people in love live together and share the
same privileges that married people have?  Bad democrats.  Weak on
defense?  Was there a democrat in office on 9/11?  It seems that a
certain idiot republican was in charge.  So how is he strong on
defense when he was in charge for the worst day in US history since
Antietam.  Pearl Harbor was not as bad.  After all, that was a
military base and 1000 less people died.  Democrats need to resort to
their past (not the slave holding democrats) and retake God and
security.  And if they run Hilary Clinton, we are stuck with 8 more
years of some pedophile in charge.

Just to prove to you I am not racist, I will now proceed to rip apart
Judaism and Christianity.

Judaism: the original pranksters
Jews make up crazy stories about arks and hitting rocks for water.
They continue to call themselves the “chosen people” even though they
are constantly persecuted.  Creationism? Yeah that’s in the Torah.
They have silly eating habits like no pork or cheeseburgers.  There is
nothing better than a bacon cheeseburger.  They continue to wear funny
little hats and chant in funny languages.  It is said they run the
media.  They have all the money.  They are cheap.  They have big
noses.  They scream in the oven.  Jews have also apparently committed
deicide, they have drank polish baby blood, and the elders of Zion
conspire to rule the world.  Henry Ford wrote “The International Jew.”
Billy Shakespeare had a christian-hungry Shylock the Hebe money
lender.  Christopher Marlowe wrote the Jew of Malta.  The protocols
are everywhere.  On the other hand, they have survived for thousands
of years.  The Romans, the Spanish, the Cossacks, Hitler, Gamel Abdel
Nasser and more could not destroy them.  They have accomplished more
in 60 years in Israel then most other countries of the reason have.
They have a high-tech, diversified economy there and are a stable
democracy.  They do not rely on sucking million year old dinosaur
remains out of the ground to survive.  That’s what the Jews are.  But
still, learn a lesson Jews, no one wants you.  You can have your own
country and everyone will still try to kill you.  Stick to making
movies.

Christianity: The bridge from polytheism to monotheism.
This one is my personal favorite to rip (even more than Islam).  It
all starts when you add the crazy shit from the Jews, and then add a
bunch of more crazy shit.  Virgins have birth.  That’s a scientific
wonder back in 1 CE.  God came down from Heaven (or is it Mount
Olympus) and impregnated wonderful Mary and she bore Jesus the son of
God.  If we were all God’s children, whats so special about him??
Next topic brings me to Jesus walking on water.  Really, he ran very
fast over it.  He turns water into wine like Moses turns water into
blood.  He was the apparent messiah too.  If he was the messiah, why
is there still violence?  Oh thanks Mel, the Jews start all the wars.
He rose from the dead or was it grave robbery?  Finally, instead of
100 gods you pagans you now only have to worship 3!!!  Sure they claim
to be monotheists, if you count the trinity as one.  But how could
they be 1? The father cannot be the son who cannot be the holy ghost.
That is 3 things to worship.  Oh wait I forgot about the various idols
in churches.  You got your crucifixes and all those pretty statues of
saints.  Plus in mass there is kneeling.  Sounds like idol
worshipping.  Almost forgot, priests have molested little altar boys.
I know they have to be celibate but cmon at least molest a little
girl.  Homosexuality is after all a sin.  But of course on the other
hand there is good aspects.  They give us sound morals and George
Bush.  So girls do not get pregnant and expect an abortion, that is
immoral.  Don’t break your neck either, the Christians don’t approve
of science.  And please don’t listen to Tom Allen.  The world was
created in 6 days and we do not come from monkeys.  But seriously
without them there would be no athletics.  On top of that, there would
be no Internet.  As we all know Al Gore is a christian. And rap music.
Imagine a world where you could not watch the NFL while surfing the
net and listening to the latest 50 cent collaboration.  That would be
horrible.

Islam: OK I’ll be nice
While it is true that maybe not ALL Muslims are terrorists, it seems
that the extremists so they are called have hijacked Islam for their
cause.  It would hearten me to see the masses of peaceful followers to
denounce those who would wish to pervert the peaceful message of
Islam.  Perhaps next time there is a cartoon published, they could ask
nicely that it is disrespectful and offensive.  The crazed few bomb an
embassy and immediately the peaceful religion is shown has inherently
violent.  I am sure that is peaceful but the masses need to show that
they are not aligned with the extremists.  It is said that the pen is
mightier than the sword.  So Salman Rushdie, your gonna die.  Ps.
Sorry Jihan.

Rampage: it ends up burnt anyway
Save some trees.  Everyone picks up a copy the first day, throws it in
their backpack, and never looks at it again.  While we love how it
wastes all of first period, the articles are rather meaningless and
bland.  Do I care what some non-athlete makes up about the girls
volleyball team that just went 1-11?  No.  I’m sure there’s plenty of
people who enjoy it, but reviews on the latest emo cd are just not up
my alley.

Dane Cook: is a piece
He is not funny.  The pickles oh the pickles.  You suck.  Get me
George Carlin and Lewis Black.  Dave Chappelle and Carlos Mencia.
Plus who names their son Dane? He is named after a f&*%ing country.

Lets see if we can top 30 comments.

By, the aforementioned, Jacob Rosen

Here is a new section of foxchasefive called “Rosen’s Rants” where, the aforementioned Jacob Rosen, rants about, well anything, and everything he f%#$@$@ wants.  Included in this new section is the new foxchasefive patent pending Curse Blocking technology, which blocks out curses with the press of the ctrl key.  God knows that key will be used a lot in the coming weeks.  Enjoy!

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We all know the pope is a nazi, but he happens to be right.
Muhammed was a military general who spread his word by sword and the
dhimmi system.  Saddam knew what he was doing and he knew how to
control those backwards people.  Start gassing the shiites and the
insurgency will end.  And also, Israel has a right to exist and to
defend itself.  There is also no such thing as disproporionate force
during a war.  General Sherman burnt the South to the ground but noone
accused him of this bs disproportionate force.  Look at what the
muslims have given us.  Genocide in Sudan, Genocide of the Armenians,
Munich 72, 2 Intifadas, Persian Gulf War, Insurgencies, 9/11, USS
cole, madrid, london, Embassy bombings, VIOLENCE OVER F%$#!@* CARTOONS.

They are savages and violent people.  Really, the only positive thing
they gave us was math and no school aged kid likes it anyway.  Muslims
bomb us when we call them violent.  Is that not proving our point?  I
bet 9/11 would never have happened if we did not let guys named
muhammed onto airplanes.  I know most of you who read this are
liberal, communist, terrorist-sympathizers and you will call me a
racist and say stuff like “not all muslims are terrorists.”  To me, a
country that calls for the destruction of another country, while
pursuing nuclear weapons, is very much a terrorist threat.  And to say
that all of them aren’t terrorists when they elected the president who
denies the holocaust and calls for Israel’s destruction is just plain
foolish.  The facts are muslims are inherently violent and until they
accept Israel they should not live securely.  Brandishing Ak’s, while
affiliating yourself with terrorist groups like Hamas, Hezbollah, and
Islamic Jihan (sic) and then demanding an apology from the pope
because he happens to point out the irony of this so called peaceful
religion being used to kill innocents daily just proves that the pope
is right.  May G-d bless Israel and send ammunition.
By Jacob Rosen