Archive for the ‘Derek Williams’ Category
Snakes, on a plane.
Some of you may have heard through the internets about this new moving picture, Snakes on a Plane, also known as S.o.a.P. If you haven’t heard about Snakes on a Plane through the internets, maybe your tubes are clogged. You know – the internet is not a dumptruck. It’s a series of tubes. Maybe you should clean them out.
If you haven’t heard about Snakes on a Plane, here is a basic rundown of what it is:
Samuel L. Jackson, the main character, is the hero of the movie. Along with Kenan from that old Nick show, Kenan and Kel. He’s very funny. The storyline is – there’s snakes. On a plane. Well… actually… to be more specific… they’re Motherfucking Snakes on a Motherfucking Plane. What’s the plot you ask? Evil guy wants to either bring down the plane or get someone killed; thus, what better way to do so than with Snakes. On a Plane. Now that the whole British or whoever-the-hell terrorist thing happened with the liquid explosives, they’ve heightened security to ridiculous measurements. No Dana – no water, LOL. You may think that they search for bombs and such, but y’know what they’re looking for? Snakes.
Now why in the world would Snakes on a Plane be SO awesome? It’s motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane. What the fuck do you want – a scientific theory? But really now, Samuel L. Jackson, before knowing anything about the movie, was reading his e-mail. He read simply the title of the movie, Snakes on a Plane, and basically said, “I want to be in this movie.” No script. No anything. Word has it that he even threatened to drop out when they wanted to change the name of the movie to Pacific Flight 121. They also wanted to make it PG. Fuck that. So they go shoot the movie and whatever. Meanwhile, some bloggerdude heard about the movie, and made some blog dedicated to SoaP. He also thought to himself, “Hey everyone on the internet. How fucking awesome would it be if Sammy Jacks said, ‘That’s it. I’ve had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes on this motherfuckin’ plane.’” Tubes all across the interwebs exploded on fire. Snakes on a Plane became the new internet phenomenon. They even had a CNN report on it. So the movie people come back from shooting and they’re like, “OMG!!1 LOL!2 Teh intranest is splodign w/ firez1! We must go bakk and reshoott moer awsum footige!11!” So they did. Now it’s rated R. And you know what else else. They put in the bloggerdude’s awesome quote.
So yeah. Jackson also made an appearance on the Daily Show on August 15th, being his egotistical self. And with good reason. He has the best movie of all time coming out.
John Stuart: So. What’s on the plane?
Sam Jackson: Victims!
Jon: No!
Samuel: *…* Reptiles! Poisonous Reptiles! Snakes on a MOTHERFUCKING PLANE! *crowd explodes*
He also had this to say while presenting the 2006 MTV Movie award for Best Movie:
“I’m here tonight to present the award everyone’s been waiting for: best movie. Now, this award holds a special place in my heart because next year I’ll be winning it for Snakes on a Plane. Now I know, I know that sounds cocky, but I don’t give a damn. I am guaranteeing that Snakes on a Plane will win best movie next year. Does not matter what else is coming out. The new James Bond.. no snakes in that! Ocean’s 13.. where my snakes at? Shrek the Third? Green, but not a snake. No movie shall triumph over Snakes on a Plane. Unless I happen to feel like making a movie called Mo’ Motha-fuckin’ Snakes on Mo’ Motha-fuckin’ Planes.”
Now, I ask you. If you don’t feel like this will be the best movie of all time, why not? Samuel Jackson said that the only way it could lose Best Movie next year is if he makes one. I mean… he can’t be wrong. He’s black. He doesn’t just steal bikes – he steals the show. The only reason anyone would have for not seeing this movie is racism. Just because the main character is African American doesn’t make it any less appealing. Seriously. Don’t be racist. See Snakes on a Plane.
-Derek Williams
