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Fiction:

What are relationships? An extension of the usual kindness? It appears that the best attempts of man, the most enlightened stabs at definition, have all rested and laid down their arms at the sacred halls of love. But even love, a definition must be had. There are two components to it are they not? First there’s the emotional, the hallowed part of it, that nobody is really allowed to touch. For fear that they desecrate something they’re not even sure may exist. It’s the same thing that happens in political elections and such. The outrage over the “bitter” remarks only occurred because Obama was infringing upon a sacred cow in the political sense. The good old days. The ones that nobody is allowed to discuss except in glowing terms. Apparently there was a time somewhere in the early 20th century that every one who wanted to could earn a living wage and send his or her children off to achieve something greater could and was even helped by the perfectly functioning government. Well, it is not my place to burst anyone’s bubble, but Billy Joel would not have had so many things to sing about in “We Didn’t Start the Fire” if the world really wasn’t burning all along. Vietnam and the reasons behind the first wave of feminism are both things that ruined the good old days that nobody wishes to speak of.

Now there seems to be an argument against drugs. I do not yet know if anyone has examined the intersection of drugs and love but I’m sure that every anti drug crusader in America would say that the love a stoner, or a burnout or any other alternative being could give would not be as real. Especially in comparison to the love and emotional attachment dispensed with by someone in a non altered state of mind. But once again, they are falling in the same trap as those impressionable voters in the rust belt. You’re longing for something that really doesn’t exist. Love does not exist free of its real world anchors of responsibility and obligation weighing it down. We’re all longing for things that aren’t real. But I suppose we must, nay need to believe they’re real just to keep going. I do not feel that my authority to hold forth upon these subjects is compromised by my inability to walk straight at this moment but you may. You see it all really just does not matter. You or any other being in the universe can go on thinking exactly what they want and I can go on having this extravaganza inside my own head and none of it will matter. So in conclusion, rust belt voters, chill about the bitter thing. Anti drug people, chill about the drug use thing because the truth of it is, we’re all going to die, and quickly, very quickly, all of it will cease to have importance.

2: know I say all of this now, this flippant bullshit about not fearing death and the great unknowable beyond but I know just as every man does in his heart of hearts that there is nothing we would not give for a few more years. A few more years with our daughters, our sons, our brothers our sisters. I do not comprehend why people get bothered at all, if we’re all just trying to hold on to each other for a bit longer. If one considers it, breathing is the kindest act imaginable. It is saying that I wish to be in your presence even longer therefore I shall continue to exist. How long? How long must we sing this song? Life is a party, it’s a party that I don’t want to end, but I know it must, but I know that that knowing shouldn’t inform my decisions and it doesn’t, or maybe it doesn’t inform it enough. Who knows. Nobody. That is why everything is so distressing. Noobody knows anything than the person next to them. That’s why writing this is an exercise in frustration, everyone has asked the same questions for thousands of years in different forms. And nobody has gotten an answer yet.

3: Now that we’ve established that life is a party. What bothers me and should bother everyone and probably doesn’t enough is that this party is going to end. Can we all just deal with this now, and not put this bullshit off until later?

5. we mourn people because they’re leaving the party. Yet we never ask what was so great about it in the first place. We’re all afraid of death but once again, not quite sure what we’re defending when we defend life. It would be nice if we could all figure that out and move on shall we?

Dammit, why does the party have to end. I know the world of the living is extremely conceited but it’s a world nonetheless, a world that deserves to be saved, despite its flaws, nay because of them. I’m just going to go to sleep, and hope that I wake up, if I have then we’ll take it from there. I suppose everyone has to tell themselves that everyday to get by. It’s as close as we can get to meaning, as close as we’ll ever get.

“. know I’ll end up more like Kerouac. Victim to all the dean moriarty’s and unable to stop them, unable to stop ourselves. Who knows from what. There are differences of course, but they’re all minor, all of them, except for one major one, he’s dead and I’m alive. For now. The equation might change on my end. How sad for us all that it will never change on his. We should all just take turns keeping each other breathing, we’d all get along so much better. International relations would become immeasurably easy, if we all just faced our impending mortality together. That’s our biggest problem, I really wish, someone would give us a way to solve it. To fix it. So that we can become more. I hope that people don’t let me die because I like the party. But I understand that it’s okay if they do. That’s just how it goes.
Posted by Vman (Someone who wonders if he’ll exist at the same time tomorrow, let’s all hope he does)